


Coping

by orphan_account



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Crack, Sexual Content, Smut, im sory, inspired by my pillowcase that has nicolas cage and a buncha ponies, objectum sexual
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-08
Updated: 2015-03-08
Packaged: 2018-03-17 00:07:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 309
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3507740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Since Kaneki's disappearance, Hide has found himself making strange decisions.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Coping

Hide didn't remember when he'd started getting desperate. It had been two, three weeks since Kaneki's disappearance. He'd joined the CCG looking for him, but he felt a hole in his chest that seemed to have opened up around the time Kaneki had gone missing.

He didn't know why he had Amazon and Ebay opened, or why he was adding Nicolas Cage themed items to his shopping cart. Clicking checkout on amazon, he had five Nicolas Cage pillowcases, and nine Nicolas Cage themed dildos, and various other Nicolas Cage themed stuff. He entered his credit card number. Why? Why was he doing this? He just blew $100 on Nicolas Cage themed items. And that's just on Amazon. He'd checked out his Nicolas Cage body pillow on Ebay a few minutes ago. Was he trying to cope with Kaneki's disappearance? He had no clue, but he had to admit he found Nicolas Cage pretty hot.

A week later, all his stuff came. He found it unusual that all of the stuff from different suppliers got to his house on the same time, same day, but whatever. He started to open the packages.

Twenty minutes later and he was fucking his pillow. He'd covered the pillow in a pillowcase that had an image of Nicolas Cage photoshopped into a My Little Pony scene; five ponies were hugging him, and he had a sensual expression himself. Hide somehow found the addition of the ponies even hotter. He then proceeded to shove one of the dildos up his ass. He pressed a button on it and it played an audio clip of Nicolas Cage's voice. The voice resonated through his intestines. It felt so good.

"Nicolas, I..." Hide was gasping, grabbing his body pillow. "Say my name, Nicolas..."

The dildo said "Hide" in Nicolas Cage's voice.

"Fuck yeah," Hide moaned, and then died.

**Author's Note:**

> disclaimer: i have no idea if any of these products actually exist, except one, the [nicolas cage w/ ponies pillowcase](http://www.amazon.com/Eastar-Zippered-Protector-Pillowcase-Nicolas/dp/B00SWJMQ2Q/ref=sr_1_18?ie=UTF8&qid=1425848466&sr=8-18&keywords=nicolas+cage+pillowcase) which i sleep on every night


End file.
